Russia Can’t Do Anything Right

As if it were surprising that a nation which had first failed utterly at being an aristocratic dictatorship by descending into a socialist utopia shit-show would fail again. That socialist shit-show failed miserably at its stated goals by descending immediately into a decades long experiment with hyper-oppressive communist dictatorship, which also failed.

Over the decades we’ve gotten so used to Russia sucking at everything that we don’t even comment on the fact that they’re the only superpower that doesn’t export any finished products to speak of. They have no industrial capability which is anything but useless. In fact, most Russian made finished goods end up value-subtracted, meaning that the cost of raw materials and manufacturing are greater than the value of the finished goods they become.

If there’s any one thing Russia can do it’s fail completely and repeatedly and continue get back on their crippled horse and try again. Russia is now failing utterly with its experiment in constitutional representative oligarchy and since that is sort of just how Russia rolls, they’ve decided to fail at yet another manifestation of the technological and societal uniqueness that is their own. They’re full speed ahead to follow up their lack of national political success with a continuation of their inability to manufacture anything of value to any tightly held specification.

There’s a saying that doing the same thing over and over again whilst expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Well, Russia is then the embodiment of national level insanity. Not surprising to anyone who’s had Russian food or drink thrust upon them. This time it’s a lot funnier than normal because it’s another epic case of, “We made something that looks identical to the thing the Americansky’s made but it doesn’t work at all and we’re surprised by that.”

Here’s some of the more entertaining examples of Russian ineptitude:

This is a Russian TU-160 Bomber. Reportedly it was meant to compete against our XB-70 Valkyrie and the look of the B-1B Lancer is coincidental. This makes sense other than the fact that visual cues are too commonly shared between the two countries.
This is an XB-70.
Things start making more sense when you see the size vs. appearance.
This is a Russian copy of a Harrier jump jet, the YAK-38. Sure that’s not a direct copy. We believe you.
This is the British version of the Harrier. The US version has a different nose.
Screw concealing anything. Russia admitted that they couldn’t invent with this project. It also went absolutely NOWHERE. They had to rely on Russian rocket technology which uses many smaller rockets instead of our few huge motors. They lose a lot in that because of the mass density of the motors being greater than that of fuel.
A B-29 Stratofortress
A Russian copy of a B-29, the TU-4.

Now they’ve come out with their latest confused and non-functional copy of something we barely got right. Fifth generation fighter planes. This was a project which was heavily funded by India until India figured out that they had no supercruise capable engines and their stealth capability is compromised by fundamentals like large gap width tolerances, radar absorbent coatings that don’t absorb radar and iffy construction. India has since walked away from that project. To a point, so has Russia.

They originally planned on building at least a dozen of their new bird but it looks like they’ll probably not do that until they can manage to steal some more critical pieces of American technology. May I present the Su-57 joint lawn dart and the actual Gen5 fighters from the USA, the F-22 Craptor and F-35 Joint Suffocation Facility. To Russia’s credit, America can’t seem to get the F-22 or F-35 into a deployable state. For the F-22’s we can’t seem to get pilots qualified. The F-35’s seem to be trying to actively suffocate the pilots. At least they have supercruise and the stealth features work.

F-35 Joint Suffocation Facility
F-22 Raptor (aka F-22 What We Have An Operational Wing?)
The Su-58 Talks The Talk Russian pilot eradication machine.

It’s not that I lack respect for Russians. The Russian people I know are strong, forthright, intelligent (admittedly I only know well educated Russians who qualified for University studies) and diligent. They’re also the sort of people that will treat you like crap just because until the moment you jump down one of their throats, then they’ll be something other than a dick to you. It’s like machismo but not up to the retarded levels that you see in Latin countries.