How Does One Tell Fate To Screw Herself?

June 2nd 2019 is Sunday Funday for lovers of sickly sweet lumps of fried bread. That is until you think for a second that this will work out in your favor.

Go looking for Krispy Kreme to surprise the wife with because that’s a pretty cool thing to do once in a while and you’ll be 90% likely to be frustrated by the sheer distances involved. You see, unlike Starbucks; which have locations everywhere even inside of other Starbucks’, Krispy Kreme is of the mind that if you want diabetes, you’re going to have to work for it. That work starts with at least a 30 mile trek and ends with another 30 mile trek. It’d make sense if cars weren’t so popular. Then it’d just be a calorie neutral walk. But somehow by virtue of cars being a thing it’s suddenly a seemingly huge hassle to drive that far for donuts.

For the rest of us, today is a good time to pick up a dozen and bring them to work tomorrow. Nobody will notice that they’re a day old as long as you don’t put them in the refrigerator. If you do put them in the fridge, you should be fired. From a cannon.